


love the one you hold, i will be your goal

by spinningincircles



Series: hey baby, i think i wanna marry you [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, the lightest of light angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 12:28:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12276474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinningincircles/pseuds/spinningincircles
Summary: Magnus can’t help but think that this was inevitable. With Alec, nothing about his feelings really comes as a shock. Everything feels expected. Every step feels right.





	love the one you hold, i will be your goal

**Author's Note:**

> y'all this is my first fic in probably 6 years that's how much this hiatus is killing me
> 
> shoutout to [ EJ ](https://ravendreamer96.tumblr.com/) for being the best beta in the whole wide world <3
> 
> title from "lover of the light" by mumford and sons, the song that's been playing on loop in my head through this whole writing process

Magnus hadn’t planned it happening like this. If he’s honest, he hadn’t planned on it happening at all. 

They’re sitting on the couch on the balcony after dinner. Their hands and legs are tangled, talking about nothing and everything, bathed in the setting sun and twinkling lights of the skyline. Everything has been blessedly calm since Valentine’s death, and they’ve been doing their best to soak up as much time as they can with each other, because any minute the next terrible thing could find them and ruin any sense of normalcy they’ve established.

Alec absentmindedly plays with Magnus’ rings as he relays the latest dumb thing the Clave has done. He’s tired, Magnus can tell, but it’s not the bone-deep exhaustion of trying to save the world, just the surface-level weariness that comes with running an Institute and dealing with higher-ups that are still stuck in their old, rigid ways. He’s grateful to see him this way — for so long he had watched him struggle with the weight of his insecurities, trying his damnedest to fix a reputation he didn’t ruin, suffering so that no one else he loved would have to. It’s nice to know that all he needs is a good night’s sleep to get rid of those circles under his eyes now.

Alec twists the rings and traces long fingers over them, keeping Magnus’ hands warm in the cool, end-of-summer night. There’s a story behind each one, and he’d relayed them all to Alec in the quiet of an early morning. Tonight, he’s been fixated a particular piece, a simple silver band set with amber stones. Magnus thinks the gems match perfectly with Alec’s hazel eyes. They change with the light like Alec’s eyes seem to change with his mood; stormy when he’s angry or ready to fight, clear and bright when he’s laughing. He’d be content to look into those eyes for the rest of his life, from the minute the light hits them in the morning until they fade with the lamps at night. He gets lost in them so easily, and he doesn’t mind at all.

Without thinking, like something in his subconscious decides to do it, he slips the ring off, taking Alec’s left hand in his, and places it on his ring finger. Alec cuts off mid-sentence, watching Magnus’ movements. He’s frozen, not for long, but long enough for the implication of what Magnus’ has just done to register. He watches Alec closely as every past memory, every sidelined desire, every inevitable ending comes rushing back to him. He can’t believe he’s done this. After all this time, after convincing himself that finding someone to have and to hold wasn’t going to happen, this man next to him has burrowed his way into his mind and into his heart to finally make him feel like this was something he could have. Like a lifetime with someone, a true forever, was a possibility.

It was always there in the back of his mind — he knew after three dates that this was  _ it _ for him, for the rest of his life. And even though he’s pretty sure Alec feels the same, he hadn’t given much thought to making anything official. Despite his experiences and past loves, he had only ever glossed over the idea of marriage, of sharing a life with someone for the rest of forever. It wasn’t for lack of trying; plenty of his old flames had stuck around long enough that marriage was the logical next step. But, by the time he would seriously consider it, the cons far outweighed the pros. The fact that none of his partners ever brought it up either made it easy to push the thought into the “Things I Should Circle Back To” part of his mind, a part he never managed to actually circle back to. And after Camille — after thinking he could have pledged his life to someone who turned on him on a dime and stomped his heart beyond recognition — the idea seemed far less appealing. And so he settled for lifetimes of love he could never claim as his own for more than a brief minute, love that would never truly be his to keep.

It’s funny how quickly and effortlessly things can change.

Despite surprising himself, Magnus can’t help but think that this was inevitable. With Alec, nothing about his feelings really comes as a shock. Everything feels expected. Every step feels right.

But Alec still hasn’t said anything.

As Magnus scrambles for something to say, a smooth line to play off what he actually means, Alec starts moving his hand. Back and forth, back and forth, catching the light of the nearly gone sun in the gems. A slow smile spreads across his face.

“It looks good.”

Now Magnus freezes, but only for a breath. He feels the corners of his mouth pull up, and he’s helpless to stop them. He feels something settle in his chest, a contentment. He can’t remember the last time he’s felt this at peace.

He turns to Alec, taking in his profile bathed in gold. He leans in, a hand on Alec’s neck, pressing a lingering kiss to his temple.

“It looks very good,” he murmurs into his skin.

Alec looks at him, eyes ablaze, and Magnus feels his smile grow impossibly wider. He feels Alec’s chuckle rumble through his body, revels in the sweet kiss he places on his lips. Alec turns, moving to take the ring off and place it back in it’s rightful spot, but Magnus’ stops him. This time his subconscious can’t be to blame.

“Keep it.”

Alec turns back to him, facing him more fully, his face settling into a small smirk.

“You know Izzy’s gonna throw a fit when she sees it. What do I tell her?”

“Tell her her invite is in the mail.”

Alec looks confused, then bewildered, but Magnus can’t seem to stop smiling. He slides the ring firmly back on Alec’s finger, kisses it, not once breaking eye contact. He can’t tell if the shine in Alec’s eyes is a trick of light or something else.

“Are you serious?”

“As serious as I always am about you.”

“But what about-”

“Honestly, any reason we shouldn’t do this doesn’t matter to me at the moment. What matters to me is you, Alexander, and how much I love you, and how I want to spend forever with you, if you’ll let me.”

He realizes then that he hadn’t thought about Alec  _ not  _ wanting this. He knows he does, though, can feel it in his bones whenever they’re together. Still, that nagging voice in the back of his mind whispers  _ this one is going to turn out just like all the others _ . Another love not meant for him.

Alec is still staring at him, eyes searching his face for any sign that Magnus is not one hundred percent serious about this. Magnus stares back, doing his best to convey everything whirring in his mind in a look and soft caress of the hand he’s still holding. Suddenly, Alec’s eyes are shining brighter, and a beautiful, blinding smile lights up his face, the corners of his eyes crinkling like they do when he’s at his absolute happiest. Magnus would know; he’s been privy to those smiles more than anyone, he likes to think. In a flash, Alec is in his lap, laughing, kissing him with an intensity Magnus doesn’t think he’s ever felt. It turns into mostly teeth, their smiles too big, and Magnus pulls back just so he can look at Alec. Alec stares back, shaking his head, and Magnus reaches up to wipe a tear from his cheekbone. His hand stays there, relishing in Alec’s warm skin, skin he’s going to be able to touch whenever he wants, for the rest of his life.

“I assume that’s a yes, then?”

Alec barks out a laugh, his whole body shaking, looking at Magnus with a fondness that warms him from the inside out.

“Of course it’s a yes. It’s always a yes for you.”

Now Magnus feels his eyes starting to water, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest with how much love it holds for this man. Alec leans in again, kissing Magnus’ eyes, then his nose, then each corner or his mouth, finally settling on his lips again.

They get lost like that, lost in each other, lost in kisses and whispers and promises of forever.

**Author's Note:**

> i just love my boys and they deserve nothing but happiness
> 
> come yell about malec on [ tumblr ](http://tylerhunklin.tumblr.com/) with me!


End file.
